How To Say ‘No’
The fastest way to free time in your schedule is also the hardest: learning to say ‘no’. It’s a tricky endeavor, doubly so when the person asking is in a position of authority. Here are some suggestions to make the process of saying ‘no’ less painful:
- Repeat the ‘No’. People expect conversations to go this way:
“Can you help with with project X?”
“I’m sorry I can’t.”
“Oh please? I’m really in over my head.”
“Alright, what do you need?”
Do not give in to this. When you say no, hold your ground. Politely repeat your ‘no’ answer.
- No Excuses. Never give an excuse for why you can’t do something. If you give an excuse, it puts you on the defensive. The person asking will launch into an attack on why your excuse isn’t (to them) satisfactory. Stick with rule #1. (Not offering excuses, is a good rule in general, not just for saying ‘no’.)
- Not Enough time. “I’m sorry, I’d like to be able to help right now, but my current projects take up all of my available time and I can’t afford to drop any of them.” This is not an excuse, this is the truth. You currently use all your available hours on something and if you’re prioritizing your life correctly all these tasks matter to you. You must not over schedule yourself and, more importantly, you must not let others over schedule you.
- The Conditional ‘no’. Agree to help, but only if X number of other people will also join in the project. This method works well for friends who want to move house, or other home projects. Moving house with ten people is accomplishable in a reasonable amount of time. Moving house with two is not.
- The Switch ‘no’. With bosses, often there isn’t a way to say ‘no’ to taking on an additional project. It’s best to keep a projects list and ask your supervisor what project you should stop working on to dedicate time to the new one. This serves two purposes: it reminds your boss of the things you are working on, and it also reminds them that if you start something new, something else must be delayed.
- Do an Excellent Job When You DO Help. Do your best job on the projects you do say ‘yes’ to. It will help build your reputation as a person who does great work, but has limited time.
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Header photograph by Daquella manera
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You can keep in your mind that every “No” is actually yes. If you say “No” to one commitment then it saves you time to deal with other activities. Think what you can do with the time you save.