Silver Clipboard

Schedule Those You Love.

One of the items on my regular Saturday to-do list is ‘date my wife.’ Nearly everyone who notices that my wife is one among many things to be crossed out thinks this is the height of unromance. What does my wife think? She loves it.

Why would she love being a to-do item? Because to-do’s represent commitments. If there isn’t any dedicated time on your calendar for those you love or care about, what does that say about the priority they really hold in your life?

While my wife and I spend time together during the week, it isn’t always quality time. We may be in the same room but working on different projects or talking about household business. Therefore, it’s nice to know that at the end of the week we have time dedicated solely to each other where we don’t let work interfere.

Take a look around in your personal life, decide who is important, and schedule them in.

(For more on scheduling what really matters to you, check out Neil Fiore’s book: The Now Habit)

How To Go Offline From Your Partner

One of the problems of living with a partner is creating the mental space to work. While you may have the physical space for separate desks, it’s difficult to not distract each other. One way to be near without unintentionally interrupting the other person is to have dedicated ‘offline’ time — a time when you are unavailable to your partner for interruptions. Here’s how, with an offline state, you can get more done and enjoy your quality time together.

1) Set up an offline command. It needs to be clear when offline time is needed. This can be as simple as telling your partner that you are in ‘offline’ mode. In our flat ‘I’m going away,’ has evolved into the offline request. Headphones can also act to block out distracting peripheral sounds in close quarters and act as a visual reminder of the offline state.

2) Schedule if possible. If your system allows, schedule in advance when offline times are likely to occur: this makes expectations clearer. If you know your wife does her weekly review on Thursday afternoons, you won’t be disappointed if she doesn’t suggesting doing something with you then.

3) Don’t abuse the system. Couples need time away from each other, and that’s fine, but it is not the point of the offline system. Offline means you are getting work done and can’t afford interruptions. If you use offline time to just read a novel, you will invite interruption and diminish the importance and uniqueness of the offline state as separate from other forms of downtime. Preserving the specialness of offline time will also motivate you to get work done. If I tell my wife I’m offline, I better be working and not just staring at my screensaver.

4) Don’t forget to compromise. It’s unreasonable to spend an entire day offline. Give your partner an estimate of how long you are going to be unavailable. This way if something comes up that your partner needs your attention for, at least they know you’ll be back online in thirty minutes for a break.

So set up an offline system with your partner: get more done when you’re working and enjoy your together time more.

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Header photograph by Aya (Aya)